


Emotions | Chae Hyungwon (Monsta X)

by holysuga



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, monsta x - Freeform, monsta x angst, monsta x au, monsta x hyungwon, monsta x hyungwon au, monsta x time traveler, monsta x time traveler au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 08:15:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13407138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/holysuga/pseuds/holysuga
Summary: Time travel is tricky… falling in love is trickier.Warning; angst.





	Emotions | Chae Hyungwon (Monsta X)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, just wanted to let everyone know that my requests are open on my tumblr (holysuga). Please request interesting au's, I also have writing for other groups. -Emily

There was one tricky thing about time travel. One clumsy mistake that every time traveler should know, it was one simple rule among a variety of time travelling laws. It was meant to be obeyed by those who possessed a watch, those who only used watches for good, and those who didn't want to disturb the natural occurrences of the universe. This one clumsy mistake, that mundane act of treason, could cause a discourse on a time traveler's only job.

Traveler 111476 was no exception.

As he moved up the ranks of time travel, no longer needing an anchor to go and leave as he pleases, Traveler 111476 knew to be cautious of falling into a mundane trick.

If Traveler 111476 knew of this then why did he succumb to a normal human's level. Why would he jeopardize his watch and ranks for one flimsy mistake?

It was because of you.

The woman he fell in love with.

And time travelers can't fall in love. It endangers the natural laws of time travelling. Falling in love makes a time traveler change their course, it makes their next moves and whereabouts become a critical move to the universe itself.

Love rules all, even time travelers.

You knew this, even after years of spontaneous visits and romantic getaways with him, you knew his only purpose in life was to time travel. He would forever be stuck as young man while you aged, he couldn't settle down and marry you or start a family, he could only travel to where he was called or felt he was needed. He alone stopped various national events that would have changed history forever. He's gone back in time to save those who weren't meant to die, and he's gone to the future to exile the ones who are meant to.

Time travelling was tricky enough, but add love to the mix and you get chaos and empathy.

You could tell he was starting to become more human as more time passed of you both spending time together. The exchanges of "I love you" were starting to take more effect than you thought they ever could, day by day you would notice small changes in history or the path that the human race was going- and you couldn't help but wonder if it was because of you. Because he fell in love with you.

You sighed to yourself, the swirling thoughts of worry making you nauseous and dizzy. For weeks these thoughts had kept you up at night, you were too scared to sleep in fear that the passed or present had changed he next day. Your fear would only dwindle when you would force yourself to sleep, only facing you worry and fears in childish nightmares.

You couldn't quite place it, even now as you finalized your decision, you couldn't help the feeling that the sake of the world was in your hands and yours only. You didn't even hold a watch, something so forbidden in the modern world and still- the course of the world seemed to have fallen onto your lap and it was all because of that one man who showed up at your doorstep.

You can remember the night clearly even now. You were surprised to find him at your small farm where you grew a variety of berries and sold pies for extra money. Your cabin was seemingly in the middle of no where, the major city was another ten miles north. But he still found you, granted at the time you hadn't known that he actually accidentally time traveled back to the present and landed on your doorstep, but it turned out to be one of the best clumsiest mistakes of his- out of many of course.

He was drenched in the February rain, and when you opened the door, thunder clapped over the young man's head and into the sky above. It was dramatic, and it was probably the universe telling you both to walk or way or slam the door. You hadn't listened to the universe then, you only saw a man who was in need of a phone call and a fresh shower, maybe even a warm dinner.

When you had asked him for his name, he hadn't responded, only merely staring into your smaller frame with eyes equivalent to a robot. He was stoic in his movements and you thought he was blinking to seem more natural. You would find out later that he held no name other than Traveler 111476. He told you you were welcome to call him that as everyone else did as well. You could have sworn you saw his eyes shift when he said that, as if not being able to give you a real name had shifted the gears in his brain, pulling him towards emotions- but not quite. You were quick to give him the first name that came to mind, a name that actually suited him rather well and he wore it with pride to this day.

Hyungwon.

He had smiled, too robotically for a human and that made you believe he rarely smiled. That pulled a string in your heart. The man was handsome, his stoic expression was charming, and his manners reminded you of the kind people in the city. Hyungwon deserved to smile, that's what you thought then and when you asked him to visit you again, you only meant to make him smile more. Granted, your wish did come true. But Hyungwon got so much more than a permanent smile on his beautiful features.

"Y/N."

You jumped in your chair, the wooden seat scraping against the wooden floor of your cabin, making a loud scratching sound to bounce off the walls. You had been so lost in your thoughts, you hadn't noticed Hyungwon walk in like he always did after you gave him a key. You turned to find him by the door, his usual briefcase in hand, and dressed with the finest suit he had admitted he would buy in France from a French tailor. He was smiling at you, the corners of his lips looking less robotic and more natural. He looked more human than you had ever seen him, that oddly didn't sit well with you; especially when your gaze shifted to the watch on Hyungwon's wrist.

"I have missed you, my love."

You looked back up at Hyungwon, moving to stand up as he moved deeper into the threshold.

"Have you been well?" Hyungwon asked as he stopped just meters away from you. You still had yet to respond with a smile of your own, or even a warm greeting- you could only stare sadly as Hyungwon visibly held himself back from grabbing you and pulling you towards him. He still wasn't very brave when it came to physical contact, but he had his moments. Hyungwon noticed your mood the moment he walked in. He had stood there for a minute after he shut the door behind him, staring at your back as you sat frozen in place. He had never seen you so lost in your own head before, it made a dreadful feeling loom over his shoulders. Now you just stared up at him, no hint of happiness in your eyes and that made Hyungwon disappointed. You were always excited to see him, especially because he could only visit a few times every couple of months, but you didn't seem pleased at all.

"Have I done something, sweetheart? Are you upset?"

You felt your heart physically hurt at his words, though no emotion was laced in them, you knew Hyungwon wouldn't speak like that to anyone else. He had grown a habit of calling you sweet names in exchange for showing affection towards you, it was as intimate as skinship for him.

You caused more trouble than you thought, the time travelling rules were suddenly starting to weigh on you more than before. You gulped, taking a step forward and clasping Hyungwon's hand in your own.

"Hyungwon, I'm so sorry." You looked up at him, trying not to show any of your erratic feelings as your lips began to quiver. You had to remind yourself that this was for the greater good, that up until now you had been selfish. Hyungwon didn't respond, he only squeezed your hand in his giving you the comfort you wanted but it also made you even more upset. "I can't do this anymore." You exhaled loudly, a breath you felt you had been holding for weeks finally leaving you as you let go of Hyungwon's hand and stepped back. You tried to read Hyungwon, tried to see if he held any emotion, but he remained still at the entrance of your kitchen.

"Do what, Y/N?"

You sighed. You should have know Hyungwon wouldn't know what you meant, he was new to feelings and you were his first girlfriend, his first love. "Us, I can't do us anymore." You hoped that was enough for him to understand, you didn't know how to word it differently or if you even could.

"Is this-" Hyungwon paused, his eyebrows furrowing, showing at least one emotion; confusion. "Are you breaking up with me?" His question was laced with confusion, the most feeling you have heard from him other than when he tells you he loves you, or when you make love for that matter. You nodded your head as an answer, biting your lip in the process of trying to hold yourself together. You suddenly wished you were more like Hyungwon, it was times like this that you wished you could just turn off your feelings and shut them out for a little while.

Hyungwon's forehead creased the more his brows remained tugged together. His hand dropped to his side from where he had left it in the air after you let go and his eyes moved away from yours as he looked at the ground. "I knew a time like this would come. It was inevitable."

You felt alarmed by that, and slightly thrown off. He expected you two to separate at some point, even after all of this time. "What?" You asked, surprise evident in your voice as you spoke.

Hyungwon finally looked up at you, the tug of his eyebrows now looking like regret rather than confusion. "I knew you would eventually want to move on. I know you wish to get married and have children, and I can't give you what any other normal human could. For that I am trully sorry, Y/N. I should be more aware of your feelings and needs as person."

You stared at Hyungwon, dumbfounded and speechless. You had no idea that Hyungwon had worries of his own with you and the fact that he expected you to break things off at some point made your heart ache. You were starting to regret going through with this at all, but then you remembered that Hyungwon was no regular person, he was a time traveler with a duty to the universe, not a regular human man who can fall in and out of love as he pleases. You knew all of this, but you still didn't want to let Hyungwon go without giving him the real reason why you were calling your relationship off.

"That's not it." You pursed your lips, rehearsing the speech you were ready to give in your head. Hyungwon still stood calmly in front of you, only now his brows went back to normal and any previous emotion that riddled his features were gone as if they were never there.

"That's not it? Then what is it?" Hyungwon stepped forward, bending his elbow in order to hold your hand but you defiantly pulled it away in time. You felt like your energy was beginning to drain as you regretfully watched Hyungwon bring his arm back to his side. You used to love it when he initiated physical contact and you knew he probably felt disappointed in your actions right now, but you had to get this over with. It was for the greater good.

"There is more at stake here than just us. I've been selfish Hyungwon, I've been so so selfish." You let the appending tears stream down your face, one by one the salty tears came in a waterfall of emotions. You hadn't really cried over this before, you only thought about your break up in pure sadness, but always held it together. But how could you not cry when you were giving up the love of your life. "Don't you see Hyungwon?" You stared up at him, your voice shaking and your hands trembling. Hyungwon wanted desperately to hold your hands in his and soothe your worries, but it was difficult when you had- for the first time, rejected him. "We weren't meant to be together. Things are changing everyday, more than before. I've noticed." Your words were quiet, though your tears still streamed down your face as you tried to find any emotion on Hyungwon's face again. It was becoming a habit the more the clock ticked over your face, you just wanted to rememeber Hyungwon as more than the man of little words and zero feelings. You wanted to remember Hyungwon as the greatest love of your life, the man who made you feel every emotion at the same time and yet still carry your heart in his hands.

Hyungwon took in your words, letting them settle into his brain before he tried to understand you fully. Even after all this time you had been the most difficult human he had come across. You wore your heart on your sleeve, though your words always confused him. He wasn't used to people speaking to him as casually as you did, and that had everything to do with being raised with time travelers- he only knew short and curt responses, no feelings and no attachments.

Hyungwon's shoulders moved up slowly, before he released them in a heavy sigh. You knew that was as much emotion as you would get from this and it brought you little comfort.

"I told you time travelling is tricky. I will admit these past years while I've traveled I have been using more... personal feelings." Hyungwon said, brown eyes gazing into yours. "I do not believe ending this will resolve anything. I will work harder to hold in my feelings from now and so on."

You weren't convinced. Though you were very aware that Hyungwon could definitely hold in any form of empathy, you knew he wouldn't. The longer he was with you, the more human he became. As odd and down right awful as it sounded, Hyungwon could not become human again. You had to think about the past, the future, and even the present. Everything relied on the time travelers, and now you. A human who owns a farm in the middle of two major cities. This farm was gifted to you by your grandmother, you briefly thought you should have sold it to the bank. Maybe then you could have avoided all of this, you could have avoided the colossal effects of Hyungwon falling in love with you.

"No, Hyungwon. This is for the best, letting you go is for the best." Your words were slow as you tried to convince Hyungwon and yourself. "You can't be a time traveler and be in love. You know as well as I do that it's dangerous."

Hyungwon breathed through his nose, revealing a slight hurt expression before he was turning away from you. You were faced with his broad shoulders, and you tried to peer over his tall stature to see his face, but he was too tall- and you had missed the quiver of his bottom lip before he spun back around- the straight and generic facial expression coming back to him like gravity to a Earth.

"I understand perfectly, Y/N. If this is how you feel, then there is nothing left for me to say. I will always remember our time together."

The Hyungwon spun around, completely avoiding a thorough and more passionate goodbye. He didn't need it, but you certainly did. With his suitcase in hand, Hyungwon walked out of the door and metaphorically walked out of your life forever. He didn't look back, not even a glance and this robotic act of coldness had you falling to your knees, tears of heartbreak and regret pooling out of your tear ducts like a vibrant waterfall.

You were torn as the door shit behind the love of you life, apart of you wanted to scream at yourself for letting him go- you wanted to be selfish and just run after Hyungwon and kiss him with all the love and desire you could muster, but his life wasn't that simple and you weren't that naive.

Your break up with Hyungwon might have saved lives, it might have stopped disastrous milestones in the human race, it might have also saved Hyungwon from a life of unwanted feelings. What you did was the right thing, it was the only choice you had. And so, with a heavy heart and a heavier head, you picked yourself up off the floor and walked further into your home until you reached your bed. The evening had barely approached, but you were exhausted and by the time your head hit the pillow- you were already entering another nightmare.

Hyungwon had heard your cries as he peered down at his watch. The clicking of the time changing on the technology wasn't loud enough to mute your sobs, but they distracted Hyungwon enough as he put in his desired time. He sighed to himself, feeling a loss burn into his heart as he peered over at your home one last time. He saw the lights going out one by one until he could see the farthest light flicker out from your bedroom. He daringly wished he could be there with you now, cuddled up on your bed as you sang him one of those mundane lullabies that always helped him sleep comfortably. He wanted the comfort of your human feelings to surround him as he slept, he wanted to feel your body move against him as you tried to find a more comfortable position throughout the night. Sudden little things were slowly coming back to Hyungwon and he looked back at his watch once again. How could he just walk out of your life as if you meant nothing to him. You meant everything and so much more. For the first time since he was a child, Hyungwon felt... sad.

He briefly wondered if heartbreak felt like this for normal humans, but he put his thoughts aside and let the feelings to continue coming to him- a mundane familiarity settling into his brain.

He was angry, he was sad, he was hurt.

Hyungwon was heartbroken.

Then he was messing with his watch again, putting in the time and date he remembered liked the back of his hand. Hyungwon cast one more look at your home, before he pushed a button on the watch- and he disappeared into thin air.

Then he was standing in front of your home again, in the exact same spot he was standing seconds before, only this time he was being showered in cold rain.

Hyungwon ran up to your house, an urgent knock echoing throughout your rows of growing berries that Hyungwon couldn't get enough of and just like he remembered, he could smell the berry pies baking in your small oven before he heard the small patter of your heart come towards the door. Hyungwon's heart sped up at an alarming rate and he hadn't felt this much adrenaline since the first time he timed traveled, it brought him further into his feelings and as you swung open the door, he smiled.

A bright smile that you wouldn't have know that you hadn't seen come from him before. It was wide and bright, and if it could- it would shine just as brightly as the moon above. As if on cue, a streak of lightning clapped over he night sky, brightening up half of your farm before it faded back into pitch black.

"Can I help you?" Your voice was shaky, slight fear overshadowing your confusion. Hyungwon didn't know what to say. He hadn't known what to say the first time this happened and he didn't know what to say now. The only thing that came to his mind was the sudden rush of excitement that came to him at the thought of falling in love with you all over again.

And so, Hyungwon looked at your past self, the same Y/N that held the key to his heart and made him... feel. He stared at you so lovingly, he was sure that you would be proud- but only if you knew what he was doing. He planned to tell you eventually, but for now, all he could do was smile with love poling into his brown eyes and infecting his heart.

"What's your name?" Your voice was calmer now and all you saw was a shivering man who seemed kind enough with his kind smile. The man moved his lips to speak, but nothing came out. You were starting to worry that he might not remember, but he caught off your thoughts with the sounds of his deep voice slicing through the cold night sky.

"My name is Hyungwon."


End file.
